The very first post... Ever.

So, here it is, the first blog post into blogging oblivion. There is so much pressure in writing the very first blog post. It has been months, yes months, of contemplating the first perfect post.

Many days have come and gone and I’ve considered so many different first posts. Which do you choose? How do you set yourself apart from gazillions of blogs out there? Why blog? Do people really care what I have to say? So many, many thoughts.

But, today is the day. The first day of my blogging adventure. The very first blog post. So here it is: (Don’t be too jubilated now. You'll want to get comfy, it'll be a journey...)

It’s Sunday and I sit at home while the baby is napping away, home sick with a cold. This makes me think… Oh, how I’d love a nap. However, in my near 5 years of mothering experiences I have come to learn that if I nap, the very moment I close my eyes and drift off into sweet sleep, the baby will wake up. She’ll wake up to the very stillness of the house, her mother trying to recuperate from the many sleep deprived nights. And, she’ll wake up with energy. She’ll be excited to start the afternoon (whereas I on the other hand will not be excited, more so frustrated at the ill attempt to take a brief nap). So, it is better that I stay awake, for everyone’s sake.  And with this quick moment of quietness in our home, I come to terms with the past week that has just ended. It has been a busy, exhausting, past few days.

The past few days have been particularly interesting. I mean many weeks are interesting, but this week, well, I’ve cried over small stuff. There have been great moments, funny to say the least. I mean, two girls in a home and there is bound to be giggling and diva-like shenanigans.

Alison is our oldest and most independent spirit. This week she has been begging, literally doing performances in our living room, begging to be in ballet or gymnastics. She is utterly convinced she is the perfect fit and knows quite a bit on how to be the prima ballerina/Olympic gymnast/kung-foo karate girl. Yes, all of those in one. Like I said, she’s our independent spirit.  But, she’s half of the equation of what keeps us going. She adds the laughter to our family. She’s the little girl that people adore. She adores people and tends to pull at heart strings with her Alison-like ways. We can really see how important her role in our whole family is. She keeps us smiling. She teaches her sister to smile. And, that’s one reason we adore her.

The other half of our equation is our sweet Aubrie. She’s the baby. She is our more serious child. She’s peculiar. She has set her own tone in our family. She has changed us, and kept us on our feet. Aubrie sets her own path, whether intentional or not, she sets it. I guess this is a good thing because she has faced a lot in her wee one year of life. She doesn’t go by the norm in any way. God has created her with such a story that she astounds people, before she can even utter a word (and that word is the softest and sweetest “Hi” you have ever heard). Her story is vast, and I guess that’s why this week has been exhausting. Not her in particular, just what has been set in front of her.

This week… what do I say? It’s been interesting.  Aubrie was supposed to have a sedated hearing test next week, but before we could move forward with that we had to go through the loops to make sure this test would have the best outcome. We headed to the Dr’s office on Wednesday in anticipation that this would be the easiest appointment we’ve had so far. See, they were just going to see if she had fluid in her ears. Fluid, simple fluid. Certainly not Aubrie. It has been over a month since her last cold and she’s never had an ear infection a day in her life. So, fluid. Yeah, we weren’t scared of fluid. But, this is Aubrie’s body we’re talking about and, well, things have a way of twisting and turning into unforeseen places. 

We breezed into the Dr’s office and they stuck the glorified, fancy-shmancy ear fluid reader in her ear (to which she had a great disdain for. She hates her head being touched, especially by people she doesn’t know). And, what do you know? Fluid. Both ears. Two readings saying the same thing. (At this point I muttered, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”)  Her pediatrician said he would speak to LA’s offices and would sort through this hurdle. Before he could, LA called. The assistant to the Audiologist (the fancy hearing doctor) called and after 10 minutes of “This is ridiculous. We didn’t have to do this with her first hearing test” conversation, she gave us slim choices. Choose to come down to LA and have them check the fluid themselves or reschedule for the end of May. And so, we were to head down south upon the demand that the LA Dr’s offices knew better. They take a fancier reading of her ears (if there was such a thing, I mean an ear reader is an ear reader, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought…).

On Friday, Ryan and I gathered the girls up. Alison was dressed in her pajama’s (it was pajama day at school and a girl could not miss wearing her pajama’s at school).  We dropped Ali off and away we went.

The drive to LA has become frequent, so we have our own routine when we head down. Starbucks sandwiches and drinks and a great conversation as the baby snoozes away in the back. This is our routine and it’s nice to have some sort of normalcy for making trip, upon trip down south.

We finally arrived at Kaiser City mid-afternoon. We call it Kaiser City because it is a mecca of Kaiser buildings, several stories high, for a couple blocks on both sides. It’s literally all Kaiser and kind of cool. Our first mission upon arriving was to feed Aubrie so she’d be on her most pleasing behavior as they touched her head and examined her ears. This was not an appointment that I was thrilled about. I mean, really? A two hour drive to see if the fluid is really in her ears… Waste of time. Or so I had thought. You see, it’s when we don’t think anything can come up that we get knocked to our sides.  So, we had to start our appointment with full bellies. Full bellies make everything a bit easier, because at least you’re not speaking out of empty stomach anger.

After feeding her (and us), we traveled back to the office in which they were to examine the fluid in her ears with THEIR fluid checker. And, this fluid in her ears? Yes, it was still there (big surprise). So we were shuffled off into the ENT’s office for him to take a better look. He examined her (once again, she was none-too-thrilled about being touched on her head). He then explained that she needed ear tubes. Ear tubes? What? This girl hasn’t had but one cold and absolutely no ear infections. Why on earth ear tubes? And really? Another thing before we could even get to the scheduled test she was supposed to have? Such a simple and easy thing, but to us, felt momentous as yet another Dr, another procedure, another something, added to our sweet Aubrie’s plate. And so it is scheduled. Ear tube placement. Yippee.

Ryan and I talked about the new schedule. We had thought this was all complicated enough, but now we had a side tracked path. It was time to deal. This dealing part, you see, that’s where it gets hard. How does one teach themselves how to deal? Do you teach? Do you learn? I think it’s all a learning and leaning kind of thing. Learning to rely on God that he’s got this; leaning on him when I feel like giving up because of ear tubes. Yes, pathetic (the ear tube thing), but so true. It seems like it’s always the small things that bring us down. The big things, well, you have no choice to manage. But, the small things, at least in our picture, add up and become burdensome.

So, this is where we’re at. Learning and leaning. Getting through the weeks one by one. It’s a moment by moment effort some times. But, we’re learning that’s ok. Maybe that’s how God wants it right now, moment by moment. It’s his plan and for that we find peace in the moments that seem unbearable, even if they are just ear tubes.

And so, I write this with thankfulness. Despite all my angst from this week, I am thankful that today is Sunday and a new week has begun. It reminds me of something God has put on my heart since the day Aubrie was found to still be alive. Psalms 139:16 (the second part)… “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” And for that my friends, I am thankful. It’s what keeps us going, even on days we feel like quitting. He knows our days: the past, the present, and the future.  He knows them even before any of them come to be. And He gets us through, even in the small stuff.

So, there it is. My first blog post. Complete with incomplete sentences, misused words, and grammar inaccuracies. But it’s me, completely human, errors and all. Until next time my friends. Enjoy today, it’s the start of a brand new week.